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themasterplanlounge:

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wandercrusty:

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katrinapavela:

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NB: Before I start messily re-imagining Tony’s quotes, let me just say that this interview is the most substantive one to date since he’s been on Scandal. While you could chalk up this interview to just being PR for Scandal, you should not. It’s so much more. It really portrays a kind of sensitivity and humanity about Tony that we have not seen in articles before. It’s basically a profile of him. Profiles help shape public perception. The quote from his brother, John, and touching anecdotes about his father and grandfather give us the sense that we are peeling back the layers of Mr. Goldwyn. This interview is about the man behind the Hollywood pedigree and hot love interest on Scandal. Now think, why would the public need to know who this man truly is, or at least who he wants you to believe he is? And why would a supposedly married man admit certain things in print about his newly ‘married’ co-star? And why now? Let the windmills of your mind turn on those questions while you sip your Tetley.

 Select quotes only: 

Interviewer:

So what happens if Goldwyn finds himself aroused on set?

WHAT TONY SAID:

“It’s not really about that,” he said. Pause.  “It’s weird. Our sex scenes are really intense. But so is our relationship. For Kerry and me, it’s no different than doing an emotional scene. It’s just more awkward, almost in the anticipation of it. Once we start doing it we commit. You’re lost in the scene.”

WHAT TONY MEANT:

Yes. Yes, I do get aroused. Captain Obvious, have you seen Kerry?!  I mean…my groin has been pressed every which way into Ms. Washington, so…But the point is that kind of passion pervades every aspect of my relationship with Kerry. I bring it and she brings it to every scene. It exists between us anyway. We get a bit nervous beforehand thinking how it’s going to play on camera, but then we just let ourselves do what we do best at home anyway…or in the car…or in a hotel room for 30 feverish minutes. You get the idea.

Interviewer:

Safe to say he and Ms. Washington are physically attracted to each other, though?

WHAT TONY SAID:

“ Yeah! Of course. But our chemistry is much more complicated than that, which is what I think makes it erotic. Kerry and I connect on a lot of levels.”

WHAT TONY MEANT:

Listen, just you mentioning her name gave me a boner right this minute. So…But yeah, it’s more than just the sex…which you should be very jealous of because it’s hotter than hell. Sexytimes or not,  we have a lot of mutual love and respect for each other.  We’re completely in sync and we have been from the very start. She’s my equal on every level imaginable. Her amazingness is so profound, I have tried to exhaust every thesaurus I have just to describe her, and still it is not enough. I love everything she was, everything she is, and everything she will be. 

Interviewer:

Is his wife OK with [the sex scenes] though?

WHAT TONY SAID:

“My wife’s cool,” Goldwyn said. “She’s in the business. I’ve been doing this a long time. Jane’s thrilled for the success of the show, and we’re all professionals, you know.”

WHAT TONY MEANT:

Aaaaaand here it is: the obligatory ‘wife’ question.  How can I rehash the three words I usually say about her. Hmmmm. We’re all professionals at pretending my marriage is legit even though it has not existed in any real context for about 18 years. But we pretend since the public values it so much. But yeah, Jane likes checks, so she’s cool.

Interviewer:

Does he get hit on by women these days?

WHAT TONY SAID:

“But I get the feeling that women know I’m married. I wouldn’t say that I get propositioned. I get appreciated, which is nice.”

WHAT TONY MEANT: 

No one in Connecticut whose name starts with ‘J’ ever really appreciated me. You know how those Jersey girls can be.  But I’ve got someone who appreciates me every which way possible. According to her I am kind, smart and important.  I  call her Ms. Washington when I’m feelin’ nasty *winks*.

Interviewer:

Of the 4.3 million Scandal-related tweets that appeared on Twitter during season two, a number were X-rated messages directed at Goldwyn.

WHAT TONY SAID:

“But [the x-rated tweets directed at me are] women describing what they’d like to do to my body. Most of them are not like that. Honestly, people are pretty chill and respectful on twitter.”

WHAT TONY MEANT:

I’ve had a string of women tweeting these really inappropriate things to me. The latest being this..jif? Or is it gif? Anyway, I can’t even describe it. Just take a look. *whips out iPhone*

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And that concludes the fourth edition of the Understanding Tony Goldwyn satire series. P.S. No one actually tweeted that gif to him. It’s a joke. 

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(via olitz-scandal)